Funny how sometimes the best things in life are born from the most unexpected and unforeseen turn of events. I have a peculiar feeling that this blog is about to turn into one of them. To begin with, the idea of it was conceived by my spiritual teacher. And if someone that important in your life comes up with an idea, it tends to manifest and become… well, let’s find out together what it’ll become.
So here’s me with my very first blogpost, loving it already. As someone who likes her work to be done thoroughly and with conscience, I started with some research and soon my head was spinning with word count statistics, niches and keywords, platforms and of course the holy grail of it all: SEO.
But being not just thorough but persistent, swimming through the technical stuff I actually got the point to writing – still remembering some of the statistics (like 488.1 million, I mean MILLION blogs just on Tumblr in January 2020). One thing was quite clear and didn’t require too much research to figure out: an introductory blog has to be good. It has to be catching and interesting and you know, it should just bang.
The unimportance of things that we think we are
Name, age, gender, jobs, education and experiences, turning points were bouncing back and forth in my head. All the things that start with ‘I am’. All the things we all seem to think define us. They have pretty much one thing in common: they don’t tend to bang.
Then an old memory came to my mind. Well, it’d be more correct to say that it hit me, filling my heart, my whole being. It was one of those perfectly ordinary moments when you don’t expect anything special to happen. And then bang.
The motivation stemming from all the things that I am not
It happened some years ago when I went shopping for some groceries. I was heading back home, when a series of realizations hit me. They were sentences that started with ‘I am not’. They came in such a fast succession that I could hardly keep up with their meaning. This was one way for me to know that these were not my own thoughts. If I had to think about all this, the sentences would have come much slower and not so powerful. Instead, they felt like revelations. And they just went on: not this and not that, not a manager and not an instructor, not a mother, not someone who messed up selling the house or did a great job moving, or who has to act or to perform in any particular way. Not anything I thought I was or thought I should or want to be. With each and every one of them I could literally feel heavy burdens fall off. Muscles relaxed I didn’t even know existed.
With each step and each ‘I am not’ I felt lighter, as if someone lifted a loaded truck off my chest and shoulders. The easiness, the lightness, the happiness, the airiness of it struck me: my life was going just fine at that time and oh my God I had no idea I carried so much weight. Not the obvious type when I was thinking about difficulties or problems to solve. This was the weight of identifying myself with my life story and the way I saw the world, how I felt and positioned myself in it. And it was there every single minute of my life: doing my job or the dishes, playing with my daughter, going on holiday, all the time.
The transforming nature of watching a white curtain
So I got home (the store was just over the corner from our building, so really a lot happened in a very short time). I opened the window, lay down on the sofa and as the summer breeze was playing with the white curtain I had a beautiful, wondrous insight: I felt connected. It was an Intimate, soft closeness, filling my heart with joy, knowing that I won’t ever need anything else than this connection, this intimacy. A net of fine golden threads between the surrounding buildings, the curtain, the furniture, the people outside and the vibrant space around. Everything outside and inside of me was this enlivened and ever flowing existence.
It didn’t linger. At first I was disappointed and kept trying to reach back and somehow return to that state. Then I understood it wasn’t something to return to, to grab and hold on to. It wasn’t the whole picture either, there were things to come yet. At that time I thought this experience was something for me. Something I could reach by years of diligent practice. Like a terminal station where you finally get and you’re good, thanks.
The fact that I didn’t see the whole picture then didn’t make the experience any less real, though. It was just that at the time I wasn’t ready to understand that it wasn’t given to me, for my own wellbeing. And I wasn’t ready to feel truly grateful for it.
The freeing nature of the ‘I am not’ experience wasn’t mine to enjoy for my own sake. It was a drive for me to keep putting down every bond that was holding me back. And by shoveling away my own blocks provide a step, a handle, a walking stick or an elevator to others, whichever they may need.
I learnt I could give the most and serve others the best way not by showing things I identified myself with or what I wanted to become, but by getting rid of them. This is how I, how we all can get to what we truly are: an endless flow of life. Sidenote: I was actually tempted to post this as an introduction to spare you from the unnecessary fluff;).
I’m aware that this sort of introduction is not catching to everyone and that’s alright. But I also know that for some of you it’ll strike a chord, some of you will relate. Because you’re an endless flow of life, too. And it’s not just some nice idea: this is something that you live. Every day, no matter what you do. And it’s such a big deal that some of you will stay here with me, on this journey. It’s such a big deal that I’m here at 11 am on my day off, being passionate about this blog I didn’t think of writing. Why? Because I see it as an opportunity. An opportunity to do what I do every day of my life as a Karma Killer Yoga instructor for many years now: to help people put down all that’s keeping them from living their best possible life. To show their light in this world, connecting with it, themselves and others and the whole of existence in such an enlivened and intimate way that they never even dreamed existed. The best job I can think of.
The desire of our hearts
I meet people all the time, it’s part of my job. Group classes, private ones, social media, consultations. They all have a desire, planted deep in their hearts. They have this strong feeling that there’s a lot more to life than what they currently know and live.
And many of them tried everything they could from their minds to trigger real change. Trying to change their mindset and emotions, being more positive, analyzing the past and hoping that a better understanding will help.
And many of them failed and thought that something was wrong with them, that they couldn’t achieve real change. Not realizing that our mindset and emotional kit is basically built on an energy frame. And that tends to remain the same even if we try to change whatever is sculpted around it. As if we tried to fix a shirt hanging from a broken hanger, instead of fixing the hanger itself.
So what’s here to expect?
The most exciting journey of your life: finding a way to your highest potential. In the next posts to come I’d like to give you an insight into how this energy frame works, giving you examples from all those years I’ve been working as a Karma Killer Yoga instructor. And if you wonder by now what the heck Karma Killer Yoga is, you can learn about that too, and try some free tips and exercises;).
I’d like to show you a practical way to let go of your fears, old sorrows and disappointments. Digging deep, grabbing them by the root and saying goodbye to them for good. Clearing them not just from your mind but from your whole being, as if on a cellular level. And if you’ve ever tried to grow or change by changing your mindset or being more positive and didn’t get the results you were hoping for, you’ll get to know why. Let me give you a hint in advance: it’s NOT because you did something wrong or not strong enough or don’t have willpower.
You may have heard about chakra cleansing or chakra balancing before, maybe even tried some methods. But what you may not have found yet is an understanding of how to read and decode what’s hidden in them. It is a most exciting journey of our lives, of your life: to find your own keys to your happiest, free and full highest self. And all this with a system that’s easy to follow and based on practice and experience instead of just nice ideas.