How to decide what advice to take if you look for happiness

If you google ‘happiness’, you’ll get about 1 410 000 000 results. If you look up ‘relationship’, it’ll be 2 170 000 000, for ‘sex’ it goes up to 3 500 000 000. For ‘success’ the number is 2 530 000 000, and for ‘money’ 4 170 000 000.

Now, I’m not a hotshot data analyst. And of course these approximate numbers in themselves are not sufficient for reaching big conclusions.

But once we have them, they may still show something interesting. Let me tell you what message they have for me, and I’m also curious what they say to you.

The first thing that’s obvious is that happiness of all has the lowest score. To me, this is the most exciting thing at first sight. Especially because who would want any of the others in themselves? I mean why would you want sex or money or whatever else if it doesn’t make you feel good, doesn’t make you happy. 

Why is it so? Is it only me who finds this curious? Everyone wants to be happy. Even those who state they don’t, because life is not about being happy, and you can literally feel the burden of pain and fear and renunciation behind those words. We are hardwired to seek for it.

It seems to me that we think we know what would make us happy. That’s why people say they want a nice home, a good job, lots of money or a good relationship (with even better sex). 

And most of us will be chasing these things until they start to weary out, and become an empty shell. It may take quite some time. Quite some time until we start questioning the whispers of our egos about just that one more thing. If I could have that, experience that, I would definitely be happy. 

And, instead of questioning it, we listen and run after the next thing, right? And it must be a very convincing voice, as for most of us it takes a long time to get suspicious. 

So this non-questioning and blind following of the ego’s voice will leave us with the numbers above. It will never want you to look for happiness inside. Because it’s aware that it happens when you’re centered and firm and connected to your higher self. And in that state the ego’s role is limited and considerably smaller. 

Therefore, the ego will want you to look for happiness everywhere else but inside: from another person or circumstance to an activity or a position or objects to own.

What’s the trap in turning outside and expecting happiness from there?

When we depend on the circumstances and other people and expect them to provide our happiness, we are in a very fragile state. One that can break any time.

All of us are familiar with situations when one moment changes everything. You thought you lived in a happy relationship and then your partner suddenly does or says something you never believed was possible. You get a bad diagnosis. You lose someone, or you lose your job and your life takes an unexpected turn. And sometimes all this in a blink of an eye.

It’s funny how all of us are aware of it but still, we do everything to push it out of mind, out of the light of our consciousness. I think this is because we don’t want to live our lives accordingly. 

Partly because it’s frightening. So we rather choose to sing ourselves a lullaby about safety and that we actually do what we are doing. Presuming that things are not going to change, unless we want them to. Everybody knows it doesn’t work like that. Ask anyone how predictable they think life is and all of them will have stories of how a love story turns into a nightmare from one minute to the next or how someone’s life crumbles in a blink of an eye. Right?

But we don’t like to think about it. So we go on with our lives based on assumptions. Assuming that you’ll always have a full supermarket to go to. Assuming that the person lying next to you in your bed will be there tomorrow as well. Assuming that you can talk to your parents any time later. 

You may argue that it’s necessary for survival. Because if we kept our focus on all the possible threats, dangers or sudden changes, we wouldn’t be able to lead our life. But is it really true?

Can’t it be that we simply choose the comfort of illusion? An illusion that makes us live our life half asleep. Where we’re forced to wake up only if there’s a pandemic and we cannot go to our favorite restaurant. When it turns out that our partner wants to be with someone else. When our parents get ill or die and we cannot postpone that call any longer. 

So what can we do? Should we be afraid? Worry each and every moment of our lives and expecting a tragedy any minute? 

Well, if you really let yourself feel into this question it’s obvious that it’s calling you to find a balance. To wake up from the illusions without fear, anxiety and worry leading your thoughts, actions and feelings.

What remains is a lot more awake state. In which you don’t take for granted anything in your life: your circumstances, the food that you eat, the people next to you and around you. Instead, you feel grateful for them. This is a lot more alert state, in which you remain conscious and active, and are able to use your power to form your 

I brought you two fractions of the book Karma Killer by Anamé, which is a perplexing story about how a soul is evolving through lives. It can be read as an interesting and exciting adventure novel, but it’s a lot more than that: it brings light to the threads of human fate. At the end of this gripping true story the pieces of the puzzle show the whole picture. The picture of unity and that everything is driven by love and even the deepest suffering and darkness is in the service of growth. 

Having read this book you’ll see karma in a completely different light. It’ll become a tangible, solid truth, inspiring you to ask yourself questions in a way that you won’t ever be looking at your life like before.

The pages will become alive, and the story transforms into a series of images, revisiting you again and again to help you answer the questions of who you actually are, where you are coming from and what’s the journey like behind you. 

So here come the teasers:

We spent several hours in prayer every night for months until, despite the rules, life found a way. When our bodies melted together, it was not only our bodies that melted together, our souls also united before God. I lived the ecstasy of saints every night.

We did not speak at night, and we did not speak by day. It was my sweet secret that I knew what was to come. I knew the rules of our community were going to change. Tomasino would take me to his side and we would lead the herd together. The greatness of his spirit and my womanly devotion would raise us to unprecedented heights. Even while awake, I dreamt of this, smiling, and embellished the image further and further in my mind.

My face became soft every time I looked at him and once, accidentally, the word “darling” slipped out of my mouth.

I froze, but then an infinite calm came over me. Now, months later, the time had come to let things out in the open. The unity of our body and soul could not be kept a secret any longer anyway, I thought.

The effect of my voice and that single spoken word, was as if he was slapped in the face. I watched him, waiting, filled with hope and glory, and so every flicker of his face was permanently burnt into me. At first his face contracted and tensed, as if I had struck him, then for a fraction of a second, a childlike uncertainty overcame hi. Finally, his face became imposingly smooth, and an internal composure appeared – he had decided.

All eyes were on him, since we all knew this expression by now: our leader was just about to preach.

-Did everyone hear this woman? Did everyone hear the word that left her sinful lips?

Those standing nearby whispered the word “Darling!” and a murmur rippled through the hall. The chorus of multiple voices expressed the dearest secret of my heart so disparagingly that this moment became the memento of my shame. To me, this meant that my devotion, my admiration, my love was abhorrent.

And another fragment of a different story.

I was a lonely, reserved little boy. A real angelic beauty with big, light blue eyes and golden, curly hair. My puffy cheeks were pink. The castle’s beautiful park and my living quarters filled with toys provided the basis of my carefree, fairytale-like childhood. My father was almost always traveling. He was distant, just like my mother, in her unapproachable, aristocratic beauty.

[…]

Everyone tended to my whims and I was never bored. I was aware of my beauty and my noble heritage. Looking back, my life until that day consisted of nothing but a kaleidoscope of sunshine and beautiful pictures.

[…]

My mother’s scream brought me back to reality. She, and a man I had never seen before, were both naked. They stared at me with wide eyed astonishment.

-What’s this? – hissed the unknown man between clenched teeth, in a manner similar to spitting. My mother didn’t even bother to cover herself.

[…]

Within an hour I was on my way. The carriage shook, and an icy wind blew and I howled as I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up, we were still traveling, the chubby peasant girl and I. At night, we stopped somewhere. She ate while I vomited with fear. I had never seen this much filth in my life. I remained standing in the middle of the room; I did not lie down on the dirty bed, until I collapsed from exhaustion.

[…]

From that day on that I left my home, I loathed the world, and I clung to the broken pieces of my former life like a drowning person. I lived in the sty with the livestock, and yet I practiced the perfect lordly pronunciation of the words of my language. I feared that I would forget it and begin talking like the peasants. In my free time, I wrote the alphabet in the dust – I read and write, unlike them!

Both fragments share a common pattern: showing how an unintentionally whispered word or an accidental encounter can kick the course of events out of their track, changing your life forever. 

Quite naturally, this idea evokes feelings of fear and uncertainty in most people. It reminds us that it can happen to us as well. While we’re working our way toward happiness, anything can happen that would take it away.

This is not a bad thing. This is not a bad thing at all, as with time it encourages us to turn inside and look for happiness inside of ourselves. To begin to look for that place inside which is connected to the highest reality. That essence which remembers who we are, where we came from and what’s our ultimate purpose of being here. The one that’s unshakable and steadfast, content and happy, independent of the circumstances, of the ups and downs of life.

Yeah, yeah, but what does it have to do with deciding what advice to take when it comes to happiness?

Where does happiness come from?

Well, the first step is easy. You just have to decide which way you want to turn: outside or inside. With the first choice you can concentrate on whatever you’d like to achieve to bring more happiness in your life: the perfect daily routine, becoming a killer cook or traveling. 

If you decide to take the inner way, things get a bit more complicated. Why? Because the ego can still find a way here. With more subtle tools, but still. Telling you you can do it just by yourself. Change your habits, change your thoughts, change your mindset. 

There’s a third way, which will remind you that you came to this world with a purpose and with treasures to use for the sake of this planet and its habitats. And to fulfill that role is the greatest happiness of all, independent of the circumstances.

In this third way you renounce your landmarks and learn to live with a lion’s heart among uncertainties and ambiguity. You’ll not have the comfort of your illusions, but, together with that, you’ll lose the bluntness that had been cutting you off from the happiness of truly feeling and expiring and admiring life. 

Can I choose wrong?

I don’t believe in wrong choices. Each path will give you something, enriching you with an experience, with an understanding, which will add up to a wonderful and unique masterpiece of you.

Looking at it from an energetic point of view, we’re not as free in making our choices as we think we are. During the course of our growth we all move in between energy levels. They have their own frequency band, which determines our feelings, thoughts and actions and – our choices. 

So while it seems that in a given situation we have endless possibilities to choose from, in reality we’re only free to make a choice within the frames of the frequency band we’re currently moving. 

No need to think about big things, either. Like how we choose to react if the cashier at the counter says something unpleasant. Or what we choose to think or say if someone on the road is honking at us for some ridiculous reason.

The same way, this frequency band will determine what methods, teachers or trends you are going to find attractive. And it’s alright. It’s alright to learn new skills or introduce new habits into your life and learn from them, see where they take you. All of them will have a gift for you. All of them will move you further, toward precious realizations.

And sooner or later we’ll all get tired of expecting the circumstances to bring us happiness. Tired of waiting for the next thing to achieve or buy or acquire to make us permanently happy. But until then, each step on the way is precious. Therefore, please, never hurt or judge yourself for making the wrong choice, and never blame yourself for the lack of your happiness. Always remember that the first step is being grateful. 

So no, I don’t believe you can choose wrong. But I hope that this post will help you make a more conscious choice.

Let me know what you think about it and where you’d take advice from if looking for happiness.

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